Emotional mastery is the ability to regulate and manage one’s emotions. It involves taking responsibility for your feelings and controlling your reactions to them. The duration of an emotion is determined by the individual and not external circumstances. Society also plays a role in establishing emotional norms that can be a threat to individual freedom of feeling and thinking. In this article, we will explore the necessity of negative emotions, the power we have over them, and how societal expectations can affect emotional regulation.
The Awareness of Negative Emotions
Maintaining emotional balance is crucial to overall well-being, and this includes acknowledging negative emotions. Trying to suppress negative emotions altogether is not a reliable solution. The dystopian society depicted in Aldous Huxley’s novel “Brave New World” is an example of the dangers of eliminating negative emotions. In the novel, a drug called “soma” is used to block out emotions resulting from stressful situations such as pain, grief, and anger. This “painless” society described in the novel greatly reflects how people become mindless flocks, without any ambition or ideals, only living for pleasure. However, solely focusing on the pain is not a reliable solution as well. There is merit in allowing even the negative emotions to surface, and letting them move through us, with the goal of not reacting to them, followed by our conscious decision to express, release or change them.
The Power of Individual Regulation of Emotions
We have the power to regulate our emotions. We can choose how long we want to feel a certain way and how we react to our emotions. This is a fundamental aspect of emotional mastery. We can control how we feel, and this ability gives us control over our lives. For example, if we feel angry, we can choose to act on that emotion or take a step back and process it before reacting. We can also choose to focus on positive emotions, such as joy, and use them as a source of motivation and inspiration.
Society’s Pressure on Emotional Norms
Society’s expectation of emotional norms can be a threat to individual freedom of feeling and thinking. The expectation that individuals should feel sadness about certain life events, such as breakups or loss of loved ones, can be harmful. These life events do not necessarily have to be sad for every single person, as a breakup can mean a new and better beginning, the loss of a loved one can mean peace in the afterlife (for the spiritual readers), or a team member leaving means an opening for what the company required all along.
Although, the pressure of societies predetermined emotions “required” for such life events, if one does not respond to society’s presupposition can be seen as thoughtless, cold-blooded or unemotional. This can lead to a form of pressure to show sadness or anger to ‘show’ that you do care.
The reason why we shouldn’t respond in hatred, anger or sadness during a heated event, such as a break-up, a building burning down or a catastrophe in our personal life, is because the reason behind such events is hidden from us at the time. An old Chinese proverb, “We’ll See” illustrates how the perception of an event can change over time. By accepting situations as they are and not reacting to them, we can learn valuable lessons to help us on our life journey. When we take responsibility for our emotions, we can see that life happens for us, not to us, and we can appreciate every moment as a gift.
Conclusion
Emotional mastery is a crucial life skill that involves regulating and managing one’s emotions. Negative emotions are a natural part of life, and it is important to acknowledge and process them. We have the power to regulate our emotions, and this gives us control over our lives. Society’s expectations of emotional norms can be a threat to individual freedom of feeling and thinking. By accepting situations as they are, we can learn valuable lessons and appreciate every moment as a gift. Emotional mastery takes time and practice, but it is a skill worth mastering.
Sources
- Huxley, A. (1932). Brave New World. Chatto & Windus.
- Salovey, P., Mayer, J. D., Goldman, S. L., Turvey, C., & Palfai, T. P. (1995). Emotional attention, clarity, and repair: Exploring emotional intelligence using the Trait Meta-Mood Scale. In J. W. Pennebaker (Ed.), Emotion, disclosure, and health (pp. 125
